peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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