I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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