Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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