New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize