just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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