Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize