Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
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Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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