I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize