i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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