somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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