he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
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You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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