I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
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