You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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