I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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