You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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