Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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