Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
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He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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