the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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