i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize