dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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