I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize