So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize