remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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