i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize