I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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