You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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