I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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