Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize