Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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