She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
worst night to have a conscience
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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