I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I got inside last night via doggy door
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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