If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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