Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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