I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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