hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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