I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize