I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You ruined the universe
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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