My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize