nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
the raccoons are back...
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