It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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