My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize