I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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