please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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