I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize