textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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