we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
