i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize