I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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