Pappa wants mamma naked
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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