I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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