I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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