i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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